Dear Mardie,
we are matched with a birth mother who is in Texas. We live in Idaho. The attorney in Texas said that we will have to stay there at least a week or ten days, and it may be more. We will leave our children with my mother but what do we do while waiting to come back home with baby? I’m afraid we will be so anxious to come home it will feel like we are being held captive. LOL
I completely understand, but so much of how your time “feels” is about your mindset and your expectations. The time spent waiting for ICPC clearance can be a bit uncertain, but approaching it with a positive attitude and with plans will help you enjoy this special time. Here are some of my best tips.
Your Babymoon!
Just as we have a honeymoon with a spouse, think of this as your own babymoon with your baby. Just parents and baby, for a week or two, to get acquainted, bond, learn about each other, and practice changing diapers! This is a special time that can be enjoyed free from outside responsibilities and distractions. Spending time staring at your baby, skin-to-skin bonding, and just marveling at the miraculous child entrusted to your care can take up full days!
The days and weeks ahead are made for meeting others, portraits, play dates, and so much more. This time will only happen once. Make memories, take snapshots, sing songs, and enjoy every single minute!
Stay Somewhere Comfortable
Your first few nights may have been at or near the hospital, but after you are discharged, you can move about within the state. I encourage families to stay at a Residence Inn or Embassy Suites style of a hotel where you have more comforts of home (for you and baby!) and are fed at least a good, hot breakfast each day. You may also want to consider renting a condo or a home on AirBnB or VRBO. These give you more opportunities for laundry and cooking – two things you will likely need to do.
Sightsee Just a Bit!
It can be fun to take your baby to a special place and snap some photos. After all, his or her baby book will be a bit different from biological children’s, so having some fun pictures from this time can be a fun addition. It also lets you get out of the hotel a little. Be mindful that these trips are probably best kept short, but do take the opportunity to do a little exploring.
Start Your Lifetime Together
As you begin to get to know each other, spend time planning things you may have held off on, such as baby dedication services, baby schedules, planning for work schedules, and other things that most parents prefer to wait on until it seems like a “sure thing.” Many parents wait until they have a baby to start reading books like “What to Expect the First Year” and other parenting books. Get the ebook version and start reading!
Most of All, Enjoy the Moment
Everyone at home may be anxious to see you, and you may be eager to get back to your own bed, but over the years I have heard from so many parents who say things like “I wish I had slowed down during that wait time.” It really is precious, and you never have that time back. So enjoy each beautiful moment with your new baby.
