When I was adopting, I was doing it all on my own, figuring things out as I went along. Open adoption was new and independent adoption was almost unheard of. All I knew was that I was ready to be a mom and do everything I could to make that happen.
So I learned. I studied. I tried things –some worked, some didn’t. I talked to people. I talked to professionals. I tacked things on bulletin boards, sent out profiles, networked with doctors, and asked for prayer each week at church. I took everything I knew from running my successful manufacturing business and trade school and put it to work for me in my adoption.
A few months went by and, not surprisingly, I was exhausted!
Working and trying and waiting and hoping around the clock keeps our bodies and minds in a constant state of anticipation that we are not designed to be at. We can’t operate as healthy, balanced adults when we are constantly in a “ready position”, just waiting to catch that baby.
My adopted son & I when he was a baby
So I changed things up a little. I worked on my adoption a minimum of an hour a day. Then, I would put it away. If I felt like working more or when things needed to get done that took more than an hour, I would keep going. But I ensured I had balance. After all, while I was waiting to become a mother, my days were passing and I needed to enjoy the life I have now.
So the best advice I give to parents starting this journey is to work at it, do your best, put in all your effort, but live your life too. Do what you need to and put it away. If you are doing all God has put before you, then put it away and wait till tomorrow to see what else you can do. Work toward your child every day, but not all day. Take time to enjoy these days.
