How to Handle Procrastination in Your Adoption
Adoption is similar to many other endeavors in life – it takes time and devotion to accomplish your goals. Sometimes, we think “I don’t have time today, I’ll start tomorrow.” Or “It’s too big of job to do tonight, I can focus during the weekend.” Or still yet “I should have just paid someone to do it all for me.”
Here’s a little secret… No matter the path you choose, it’s a lot of work. There are calls to make, phone calls to place, forms to fill out, professionals to interview, networking to do, travel preparation to make, and the list goes on. There isn’t a short cut.
Here are some of the excuses I’ve heard and my answers to them. (If any of you have felt this way or have said these things, consider this a pep talk of sorts to get things moving now, before one more day goes by.)
I don’t have time to check in with my coordinator by phone or email or get my home study started. My work and personal life is just too busy.
How will you have time to speak with a birth mother? How will you have time to parent a child if you are too busy today to speak for 15 minutes on the phone about your progress and questions? Email is available 24 hours a day to each of us, but we have to put adoption on our “to do list” if it’s ever going to get done. Each day you are too busy to take one step, is one day further away from the child that is meant for you.
We just want the holidays to settle down, then we’ll get started.
That goes for diets too, right? It isn’t a valid excuse for your adoption. There are lots of things you can do during the holidays when you have extra people around, like take photos for your profile or build your network. In fact, it is the perfect time for that! Let me share another secret, people are more inclined to help you when they have time, and we all start our new thing, be it a diet or adoption, after the holidays so don’t have time to help you with your new thing.
I’m not sure I want this anymore. It’s a lot of work.
Adoption is a lot of work, but so is parenting. Take some time and search you heart – maybe you aren’t ready or willing to put a child’s needs completely before your own. Perhaps your motivation and desire has changed. Many people have found counseling has helped. This is something you want to clarify now, before you’ve gone any further.
There is just so much to do, I don’t know where to begin.
This is common for any undertaking. The best thing to do is to begin somewhere. Remember your hour a day? Spend it reading lessons, calling home study providers, doing something, anything that takes you closer to your goal. There isn’t necessarily a right place to start, as long as you start.
I think I’m on track, but I’m just stuck and don’t know what to do next. So I feel paralyzed and don’t do anything.
This is where your coordinator comes in. Ask her. Her role is to guide you through with encouragement. But she can’t do that if you don’t ask.
Make one of your 2016 goals to rededicated yourself to this journey, to faithfully do your hour a day, and to put your whole heart and energy into growing your family.