all-i-want-for-christmas-is-to-adoptIt’s that time of year. Your inbox is full of amazing deals for gift-giving; the stores, commercials, and streets are colorful reflections of the beauty of Christmas. When asked, What do you want for Christmas this year?, everything in you has to stop your mouth from saying what your heart wants to answer: “All I want for Christmas is to adopt my baby.”
When the answer to your Christmas wish-list isn’t something you can order online or ask a friend to wrap for you, everything else may feel second best under the tree. Waiting to adopt comes with highs and lows, as well as questions that don’t always have immediate answers. As you go through the holiday season as an adoptive parent-in-waiting consider these tips:
Be patient. Take time to yourself to recognize and care for your unique feelings, thoughts, and experience as you wait to adopt. Imagine how you’d respond to Aunt Susan when she asks you for the fifth time on Christmas Even when you’ll know something about your adoption; practice kind, grace-filled reactions, and think of a backup plan in case you need a break. It’s ok to decline some invitations, but remember people really do care what you’re going through, even if they don’t know what to say. Find a way to stay connected while also tending to your needs in this sensitive time.
Tell people what you need. When you’re asked what you’d like for Christmas or how things are going, have answers ready that would allow others to be a part of your preparations to adopt. If you have a baby registry already, ask gift-givers to help you check off your nursery needs. If you’re thinking of updating your adoption website ask a few trusted friends to review it for you and offer some tips on what might help to make it more “you.” Or, if you simply need to think of something other than your adoption, ask your favorite loved one for a night out or a fun activity to refresh your mind.
Keep perspective. This is one of the last Christmas seasons you’ll have without your baby! Soon you’ll be hanging an extra stocking over the fireplace and updating a greeting card with your new baby. If you’re doing everything you THIS Christmas to help you find the right adoption opportunity, this could possibly be the last Christmas you spend waiting. AND don’t check out just because it doesn’t seem like your adoption is happening right now. Many families have been known to meet their baby around Christmas, often through a last-minute match. Stay ready for when your child’s birth mother needs you; you could be the answer on her Christmas wish-list.
Check out this encouraging webinar, I Hope to Adopt Before Christmas, for more support through the holidays.