As you write about yourself in your Dear Birth Parent letter or create your adoption website or Facebook page, you have likely spent some time figuring out who you are and what you have to offer a child.
If you are in the waiting phase and it seems as though not much is happening, I would encourage you to re-look at how you are presenting yourself through a different lens. If you are just starting out, this is a great time to really analyze who you are.
If you didn’t know you, what would you think about yourself from what you read and learn? (“If you didn’t know you…” My grammar check is having a field day with that!) Here are a few self-checks to do:
On your Facebook adoption page, what are you posting? Are there interesting bits about you, your family, your home, your interests, your activities? Or is it primarily just “We are looking for a baby.” Is there information for a potential birth mother to actually learn about you and get a good, balanced picture of what your life is like now or is it all inspirational quotes and Bible verses? Are there short, fun videos that show you being you or is it all just flat content without descriptions and life?
On your printed profile, does it have good, descriptive language with things that a potential birth mother might find common ground with? Are the photos of good quality and composition or are they dark and small? Is the overall appearance of the profile neat or is it a bit sloppy? Does it accurately reflect who you are today so that if a birth mother only had this to learn about you, she would recognize you at the hospital?
On your website, do you have elements of both the Facebook page and the printed profile? Is there clear contact information? Does it look like a baby page with pink flowers and blue blocks or does it reflect who you are? Is it “all about the baby” or do you show concern and interest for the birth mother too? Do you link to your Facebook adoption page or have a PDF of your printed profile available?
Who are you and what do you look like in your presentation to a potential birth mother? If you can’t give an accurate answer, enlist a friend to help.
Years ago I worked with a family who were very big football fans of University of Alabama’s Crimson Tide. (I had never heard ‘Roll Tide’ till then!) This showed on each and every page of their printed profile. They had photos of themselves at games, tailgating, of the wife knitting a Crimson Tide colored scarf, the husband and boys in matching jerseys… every single page of their profile had some reference to this college football team, even the page about their faith! I had to break the news to them that they looked like fanatics, to which they responded they were, during football season. So we talked about off-season activities and interests and got the football references down to just one or two.
Trust me, it’s not just football though. I’ve seen it with God, travel, TV shows, exercise, hobbies, work, kids, you name it! The first indication is seeing if something shows up on every page. Even though God/football/exercise/your kids may be the top thing in your life, you need to show that you have a balanced life with room for a child. This is important – and if you have been waiting a while, it may be time to make some changes.
One more thing… If your coordinator has given you suggestions about your profile, website, or Facebook page that you have not taken, now is a good time to make the time to implement those suggestions. Remember, our recipe is built on over 30 years of success and working with birth parents.